How come we let it go so far? Where is the joy?
Helpless. It began already from a young age when we were very little. Someone (usually our parents) began to define the direction of our life. (I’m sure they did it the best they could in given conditions.)
If you know better, you do better.
Some of us had a very clearly defined path before we could even make our own choices.
As we craved their approval, acceptance, and love, … Often our survival depended on their financial support. Accordingly, we blindly submit ourselves to their ideals. Becoming the good kids, they dreamt about.
Until one day, we wake up…
We are living the life as people expected from us but feeling no joy. We might feel like something is not alright, but we don’t know what exactly.
Some of us understand this early, and some might take a bit more time. However, there is no right or wrong timing to make some new changes.
The most important is to realize this and use the momentum to take action!
Do you know what is one of the biggest regrets in people’s lives?
One of the nurses in elderly homes did her research and curiously asked people close to their death what their biggest regrets in life were. One of the most common responses was about not living life true to themselves.
Interesting, isn’t it? Is that the answer to getting more joy?
“If we let others define us and live in pain and boredom – we shut off our development -> LIFE.”
I love listening to great stories, especially from people I meet. I believe each person has a beautiful story – a tale of ups and downs that can help you and me to UNDERSTAND why they do what they do.
The seemingly “ordinary” people can teach us EXTRAORDINARY LESSONS – so be open to listening carefully, not only to the words but mainly how they make you feel. You might be ignoring some messages for too long.
It all starts with childhood…
When you and I were little kids, we couldn’t choose our parents and relatives, and we had to accept how they came.
We went to the chosen kinder gardens, followed by primary schools. Some of us had an opportunity of a university degree – also very narrow choices (too expensive, too risky, this won’t make your living…).
We can add pressure on our peers, churches, society and media just to fit the norm. No longer can we be talking about ownership of our life. Our life became more like a movie, where we played our roles according to the already written scenario.
Can you see it now?
Until some unexpected event/s – health trouble, job loss, financial crises, mid-age crisis… – come into our lives and cause us huge pain or frustration. Most of us feel lonely and lost and not knowing where to go and what to do.
Ask different questions. Question who we are, what we value, and where this path took us. Question your beliefs. Are you going to continue, or are you taking the “scary” step to the unknown?
- What if that is your wake-up call to change?
- Maybe you were surrounded by people who didn’t believe in you and your dreams?
- Probably they put you down and laughed at you?
- What if you could be more than they believe?
- What if you see happiness in something other than everyone else? Who should you believe and listen to?
One of my friends didn’t want to be a lawyer, and building boats would make her more joyful. Another friend didn’t want to study nursing and would prefer travelling and writing about her adventures way more. I also met a girl from Morocco who loves people, and her dream is to be a make-up artist, but she kept sitting in the office surrounded by paperwork and e-mails.
Will you sacrifice your joy or do something about it?
Just because it gives you security and stability, it doesn’t mean it will bring you joy in the long term.
I remember arguing with my Portuguese friend: “Why don’t you take days off? You can’t be working every day, and you need days off to have time to do what you love to do.”
It took me a while to finally understand. The person was already doing it through his work.
“Let your heart be your compass when you are lost!”
I’ve met many inspiring travellers who have shaped my life more than my parents. People who showed me that what I want is possible. It is not the happy times but the hard times that shape our characters and give us the most significant life lessons.
Those crucial moments when we decide to grab the pen and write our own life story. You don’t need to know all to begin.
No matter if we already played prewritten chapters 20, 32, and 50, … It’s time to stop asking permission from others! Ultimately, grab the pen and START TO WRITE your own story!
It’s your time to choose the life YOU WANT to BE LIVING! Enjoy this ride together with other brave individuals. Join us.
Get in touch with me on Facebook or Instagram and share your own story.
Kisses, Mili
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