I see how often we avoid failure, but what if accepting it as a necessary part of the process is the very thing we need in order to get moving?
What if simply showing up, despite the risk of failing, is what will open the doors to new opportunities and something that you truly desire?
There were moments in my life when I failed on my first try, but just because I dared to show up, it opened a door to that opportunity.
I would actually fail if I didn’t show up.
I was recalling this moment when I studied at the university. One day there was a poster hanging on the wall that got my attention. I kept looking at it each time I passed that place. It was an opportunity to spend the summer in Scotland and do a paid internship, which we had to do for free otherwise.
My life at that time was about constantly paying attention to what I could afford and what not. The financial support from my parents was small, as they both worked at factories. I had to be waiting tables on the weekends and the whole summer just to be able to afford supporting myself and pay for my studies. I really wanted to get a university degree (I was the first one from our family). I believed it could be my doorway from misery. The internship was even more interesting as I got to know I could be paid four times more for the same job I was already doing in the Czech Republic.
The only catch was that I had to have the courage to attend a job interview, which was completely in English. And English was something that terrified me since I got accepted for those studies. I constantly feared I would fail my studies because of the final English exam. That’s just to say how much discomfort I had to face.
I was thinking of ignoring the poster, rationalizing that I don’t need it, but I couldn’t escape the pull I felt. It was stronger than me. Like my soul whispering this moment is important, without me understanding it yet.
I eventually signed up, but then again, I wanted to run away… yet I couldn’t.
At the interview my heart was racing, I felt nervous, and I feared failing.
I never heard a native English speaker before. I couldn’t understand a single word. And as I feared, I failed! I had tears in my eyes when I left the room, and I felt like a failure…
Did I really fail here?
An invitation came to me via email a week later, and I decided to send my application anyway. I had nothing to lose at this point. I already survived the worst, I thought.
This was the end of October 2013. I somehow had more motivation to practice my English and dedicate more time to improving!
Not receiving any reply for two months was challenging for me.
In January 2014, the email finally arrived with an invitation to another phone call to check my English level again. Fears showed up again, but I accepted the opportunity anyway.
This time I felt more confident. I even received a compliment that my English was way better. The efforts paid off, I thought. I was invited to a job interview two weeks later, which I failed again, and I felt the time pressure as I was supposed to leave in three months!
Another month of silence and more doubts about whether I can make it. Should I give up? Should I settle? But my desire was stronger. I felt like it was an important step. I chose trust instead.
And then it came! On the 9th of March, I received my job offer! I was so happy! I had to call my granny to share this with her. (She was always cheering me up)
Of course, this happiness didn’t last for long. Wait, I will need to book a flight really soon, and I was shocked seeing how expensive they were on the first of May.
I hit the wall again!
I didn’t have the money to buy them, and my family couldn’t support me, as they were all struggling financially.
If it weren’t for the support of my granny, who asked her friend to lend us about 400 euros, I would stay home. My granny was my a big supporter, and I value what she did for me, because I knew how uncomfortable it was for her to ask this favour.
Isn’t it beautiful what we are capable of when we step beyond ourselves?
Accepting that money felt like a huge responsibility. Now I couldn’t fail. I had to pay them back within two weeks!
I did it anyway! In two weeks, I was able to pay them back, and for the first time in my life, I experienced financial abundance. Of course, I went to buy some branded clothes and enjoyed delicious meals in the restaurants (something I couldn’t usually do), but I also kept in mind to give back to my granny, who was my everything to me. It felt great to be able to support her through her financial difficulties. It fulfilled me even more than the meals or clothes I wore.
Isn’t this amazing? How much more fulfilling it is when we step beyond ourselves?
As I’m writing this article now, I feel like it’s a reminder to me. Sometimes my fear still holds me back from doing something that I really desire. I’m standing at this new phase of my life, and I need to be reminded that failing is a part of the process. Otherwise, I will never get started. It adds more juice to those stories we have to share then.
How boring it would be if we did everything right all the time? Would we still be motivated to do it again if we were not challenged?
We often tend to aim for perfection, but forget that the fun is in the messy process. That’s what shapes our character and makes life more meaningful.
When we have the courage to face our fears and do it anyway!
Do you have any favourite failure of your? Share in comments below or connect with me via Instagram: @TheGreatestWaveOfLife / @milena.wetterova
With love,
Milena