“Love is like a present moment. You can be present; you can enjoy it and appreciate it, but in the moment you try to grasp it, it’s gone.“
There are so many ways we are taught what love is supposed to be—through sacrifice, through selfless service, through physical attraction, or emotional connection. After watching the beautiful documentary Human, I was reminded again how vast and complex love is—and yet how simple it is at its core.
Love has been one of my deepest curiosities in recent years. Losing my grandmother, who was very close to me, opened this path. Her passing was painful, yet I now see it as one of the greatest gifts she could have given me. It cracked me open to a whole new world—a world where I began to dive deeper into myself, asking what love really is.
I realized that the love I felt for her was also a form of attachment, a love that tried to fill an emptiness rooted in my childhood. I began to see how many of my relationships carried the same patterns, attempting to fill the same gap.
How Our Childhood Defines How We Approach Love
As children, we unconsciously learn many “survival techniques” to receive love from our parents—ways to adapt, please, or protect ourselves.
These strategies, while helpful at the time, often run our lives unconsciously on autopilot, keeping us reactive rather than responsive. Every tool we learned moved us further from our authentic selves, creating a sense of emptiness and driving us toward patterns, habits, and even addictions that don’t truly serve us.
Bringing these patterns into awareness, shining light and love on them, is the path to reclaiming our authenticity.
For years, I confused love with the familiar dynamics of my family—sacrifice, self-abandonment, and being endlessly understanding. I thought love meant caring for others at the cost of my own desires. But real love began the moment I started choosing myself. Ironically, what society often labels “selfish” is, in fact, the most loving thing we can do.
Relationships That Serve as Mirrors
I also realized that for many years I confused strong connections with others for love. I would seek someone’s approval, attention, or to feel needed, thinking that was the measure of connection. What’s interesting is that once I healed those layers within myself, those attractions disappeared. This was a sign of evolution—moving toward something far healthier.
Now, I truly enjoy my own company. I’m aware that when we stop chasing love or validation externally, the right people naturally find their way into our lives. When we operate from our wounds, we tend to attract more lessons instead of authentic connection. Healing first allows love to flow freely, without expectation or attachment.
Here’s the truth I want to remind you of…
We are already loved, just because we are. There is nothing we need to do, achieve, or prove to anyone. We are already whole. It’s only the illusions we believe—the old patterns, unmet expectations, and fears—that make us feel otherwise. When we bring awareness to these illusions, they lose their grip, and we can live more freely, more lovingly, more fully alive.
Journey Back to Love, Journey Back to Loving Yourself
Perhaps you’ve felt it too—that surge of freedom when you step out of a toxic pattern, leave an unhealthy relationship, or finally follow a dream. That energy that flows when we act from authenticity instead of fear. That’s love in its purest form: free-flowing, without expectations, coming from an overflow that begins within.
At the end of the day, we each walk our path alone. We arrive here alone, and we leave alone. Yet, the more we come to know ourselves, love ourselves unconditionally, and share that love in ways that light us up, the more beauty we bring into the world.
I am still on this journey. I am not “there” yet. But each time I choose authenticity over ego, love over fear, I feel freer. With that freedom, my capacity to love others expands. When I release the need to chase outcomes or cling to safety, I feel more joy in what I do. And that state—where love moves naturally through us—creates miracles.
Love is not something we manufacture. It is something that flows through us when we remove the layers and blocks that hide it. It moves through our hearts when we allow ourselves to feel and express it fully. It heals us, moment by moment, as we learn to embrace our own pain and the pain of others without fear.
Recently, reading Rumi’s The 40 Rules of Love offered me profound insight into why so many of us think we are acting out of love, when in reality we are often creating our lives from the outside in—seeking validation, approval, or connection externally. The book reminds us that true love flows from the inside out. By turning inward to understand our own behaviors, patterns, and wounds, we cultivate self-awareness and compassion, which naturally extends to the world around us. This inner work not only deepens our own capacity to love but also contributes to greater peace and understanding in the world.
Who am I to share this?
For years, my heart was closed. I didn’t even realize how many protective layers I had built around it to feel safe. These layers had guarded a heart that was deeply hurt in childhood—but they were also preventing me from truly living.
Over the last few years, life kept pointing me back to this truth—through tarot readings in Morocco, numerology charts, aura readings, and eventually ayahuasca ceremonies.
I began to understand that the only meaningful way to live was to find a way to open my heart again, despite my fears. This meant revisiting childhood memories I had suppressed, giving them new meaning, and learning to forgive those who had hurt me. I saw that everyone—including myself—was doing the best they could with the level of consciousness they had at the time.
With each layer I healed, I discovered more compassion and acceptance—not just for myself, but for the world. Facing the shadows and darkest moments of our lives takes courage, but it is truly worth it. Ayahuasca helped me see the mind’s tricks, its fears, and the subtle signals my body gives me.
Listening to these signs requires patience, but step by step, I am moving toward more freedom. When we accept our responsibility, it’s possible for all of us.
And isn’t that the most beautiful thing? To express yourself freely. To act on what you love. Just like we did when we were kids.
To reach a place where the external world no longer controls your inner peace—because you’ve healed the triggers that once held you hostage. Love, I’ve realized, is not something to grasp—it is the present moment itself, flowing freely through a heart that has learned to open.
If something in my journey speaks to yours…
and you feel the call to explore your own path toward self-love, presence, and inner freedom,
I’m here to walk a part of that path with you.
You can join me in different ways — through my Membership, Soul Guidance & Integration Sessions, and other experiences. Each space is created with the same intention: honest connection, real conversations, and a gentle return to what feels true for you.
If your heart feels drawn, you’re welcome to reach out.
Let’s see where your journey wants to take you next.