How aware are you of your triggers? Why does someone have the power to trigger you? And is there a way to be happy when someone pulls the trigger on you?

There’s nothing negative about being triggered. It’s a calling to heal our wounds. It’s a calling to self reflect and to get curious about the reaction we are having.

Dr. Nicole Lepera

If someone touches your skin, it can be pleasurable. In fact, if the skin is wounded, it can be excruciating. That’s why we find ourselves overreacting to people without understanding why. We are unaware we carry those wounds from our childhood within.

So, what do we mean by inner wounds?

In other words, our childhood traumas. Something happened long ago (when we were still physically and mentally immature), and we keep reliving those moments each time someone reminds us of them.

Let’s imagine you work hard at your job and aren’t acknowledged and praised for your work. And yet, you might overreact in a situation with your manager, unaware that he or she is just the trigger for something that happened when you were little. It could be that your mother never praised you, or you felt ignored, resulting in insecurity.

What if your father criticized you as a kid? You might find yourself overreacting to any negative feedback. The very first reaction is to blame or avoid the person when, in reality, it’s your childhood trauma. Which again has nothing to do with the person or situation but more with your inner child.

The hard truth is that those wounds won’t disappear with time.

What do we usually do to avoid this pain?

We wear a mask and pretend that those childhood wounds don’t exist. Some of us waste our time trying to change people or situations to fit our vision. If this doesn’t work, we look for ways to avoid those people or situations and run away.

Our escape can take the form of the use of alcohol or drugs. We distract ourselves by watching TV, stuffing ourselves with junk food, or clinging to toxic relationships, which makes us feel secure.

The problem is that we are looking for a solution to our emotions in the wrong places

All of this is just a trap, which makes us miserable. We feel exhausted since we constantly run away from something we are unaware of. We will be stuck in this vicious circle until we believe that others are the problem.

The hard truth is that there won’t be different results until we accept responsibility for those feelings, begin to do the work, and heal.

The change will begin when you get to the point and become aware of the painful experience you have carried with you since you were little. Pick up all your courage and bring those moments to your consciousness to heal. Finding a therapist can be a great help.

When you cut yourself, you don’t just ignore the bleeding. You take care of and disinfect it so it can heal, right?

Gabor Mate

Change the way you see triggers, and your entire experience will change

“You trigger me” can be closely translated to “You shine light on an aspect of myself that I hve been disowning, supressing and/or denying and the judgment I have on that part of me ie being projected outwards onto you.”

Matt Cama

Get excited to learn something new about yourself when someone triggers you. Thanks to them, you can begin your healing journey by seeing them as your greatest teachers. They show you what you need to resolve inside of you.

This is a way different approach from what people usually choose. Often, some challenging life event shakes our egos and lives; it invites us to look within.

EVERYTHING BAD IS GOOD FOR SOMETHING

It certainly happened to me not so long ago. The year 2023 was a year full of great lessons. Not as great in the moment, but looking back now, everything had to happen the way it did for me to open my eyes.

Taking triggers as my greatest opportunity for growth is one of my goals for 2024. I’m learning to pay more attention to how I react and have fun with it moment by moment.

For the past few weeks, I have been observing my behaviour, and what’s interesting is that I find myself more peaceful around those I couldn’t stand before. I feel more compassion for those who overreact, and I’m reminding myself not to take their reactions personally because I know it’s theirs to deal with.

Even more amazing is that as we become more peaceful and no longer overreact, we become more loving, creating a safe space for others to embark on their healing journey.

Self-awareness is the very first step.

We can start by committing to stop complaining, blaming, and making excuses. This will lead us to accept responsibility for our feelings, and from there, we will begin the healing process.

It’s only in our head that keeps us from loving people unconditionally. It’s not because of their actions as we were conditoned to believe.

From book Handbook to Higher Consciousness

YOUR HEALING JOURNEY CAN START TODAY

I invite you to get curious the next time you feel triggered. There is a lesson for you to learn. But first, you need to be willing to accept your responsibility for your feelings and stop trying to change the person who triggers you.

Bring light to those dark moments so they no longer run your life. You can rewrite those stories and choose a happy ending.

A talk with my dear friend Vanda inspired this article. Thank you for our beautiful exchange.

The change starts with you!

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